Why We Don’t Want to Know

IMG_8899.JPGWhen people discover that we don’t plan to know the gender of our second child till D-Day, I get a range of reactions; some are excited, others are in shock, and many just look at me with wide eyes and ask, “but why?”.

The bottom line: it’s not something I’m in any rush to find out, because whether or not we have a boy or a girl we will treasure and love this child just as much as we do Fin.

There is this Western (almost global) belief that a family unit is only perfect when you have one of each sex. People will often encourage a couple to “try again” when they have been blessed with two girls or two boys. I have been told repeatedly by well-meaning friends that they are praying I have a girl. “Sana girl” is a phrase my husband and I hear almost everyday. I’m one to think this puts a demand on both parents and baby that we have no control over. And any energy that makes my growing baby feel less desired is something I never want him or her to feel. Ever.

And like my dear friend, Chesa (who held off on knowing the gender of her baby) once told me, “There are so few real surprises in the world these days, why not make this one of them?”

I’d love to hear what you think in the comments section below.

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